A Battle to Save My Daughter Soul...& Find My Spirit in the Process!
Its a story about me, motherhood, the women in my life, child sexual abuse, adoption, bieng a lesbian, domestic violence and prostitution. Its about how I learned to be mother, how our moms choices shape who we are as lovers, in relationships and as parents. Its a Latinas story of two cultures as she raises her daughter and finds herself. Its a story of healing, freedom , self love and sisterhood.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thanks Giving Thanks Killing Thanks for killing me softly Thanks for killing them softly So soft that no one heard the cries My cries when “he” passed away When I learned about how “they” passed away Taken away so suddenly that is how it happened I remember it like it was yesterday… I woke up to prepare a thanksgiving feast for my family I couldn’t start though, my spirit needed something from me It told me I couldn’t do anything until my home was dressed in white and so in search I went Down broadway to buy white kitchen curtains, bathroom curtains, white table cloths and fabric for the white altar I was going to put up with the abundance of white flowers I had just bought In one hand I had the flowers and the other the aqua Florida What I didn’t know was that I had not walked through Broadway alone, he, they, had walked with me Guided me all the way, they, he, had chosen the flowers and the fabric They, had set the stage and through me he, had prepared his own altar in my house He knew that on this day he would die, they knew that on this day we had to acknowledge their death And so I did it—I built the altar, prepared my home without knowing that I was saying goodbye to my dad That even through his death he was taking care of me and so I cooked and cleaned and cooked and cleaned until I got the phone call He waited , he waited till I had finished , he set up our home to ground me for the news I was about to hear Nov 24th, 2006 my dad passed away On thanksgiving day many years ago someone declared this day a holiday in celebration of a massacre, a genocide of a people Thanks giving Thanks killing, thanks for killing Thanks for killing a human race Breaking the bond of a father and motherless daughter Thanksgiving redefined So for the past 3 years I sit here as if it happening all over again, the call, the news, I prepare to relive it as if it happened today And I wonder on this day of giving thanks will there ever be a time Where the hurt of the people we have lost, whether we knew them or not Doesn’t hurt as bad I wonder on this thanks giving day will there ever be time When I can look up to the sky and give thanks for the death of my dad